Casual Acquaintance >≠True Friendship
Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends – Fall Out Boy
I suppose it’s naive at this point to think that anyone who might potentially read this isn’t familiar with my raging cynicism (in that unlikely event, see “Homo Flakius”, “a mediocre christmas”, “Giving up…”, and “It’s that time again…”). *steps on to soapbox* It is, in fact, that time again.
People suck.
I don’t expect that to shock anyone either, both as fact and that it’s me saying it. It is becoming increasingly apparent to me that people no longer care about maintaining long-term emotionally involved relationships. It seems that there’s been a giant priority shift brought about, at least in part, by the advent of online social networking and propagated by Dallasite elitism. With 162 million users on Myspace, and counting, why should anyone bother with working toward lasting friendships when the only barrier to replacing them is 4 clicks.
I can be as guilty of this as anyone, but have endeavored over the past year to at least reciprocate the level of involvement I get from others. This strategy has led me to both preserve relationships I thought would be short-lived and end relationships I expected to keep.
The most frustrating aspect of this reality is knowing it’s happening, and further knowing that giving more of oneself is not the answer, for it will always be met with a plateau of commitment on the other side. I would wager that no less than 25 people both came and went from my life in the last 12 months for this very reason, and they never missed a beat. Which brings me to the next sad facet of this; that most people do it without ever realizing the value of what they’re leaving behind. Without having ever explored the depths of the people around them they become increasingly isolated. Island-ism is a commonly accepted practice now, and serves as proof that this behavior has eroded all sense of community.
In conclusion, there’s clearly no merit in directly fighting the system but I hope this motivates everyone that reads it to try a bit harder. Look around and consider who you still want to be there 5 or even 10 years from now. This is all a shallow, short-sighted, and selfish behavior and stopping it starts with myself. I also hope everyone will take this opportunity to tell those closest to them how much they mean. It’s more important to them than you probably think, and your chances to do so will always number too few.
In memorium: Bradlie Scarborough Feb. 6, 1985 – Feb. 27, 2007. One of the good ones.
I know what you mean… I completely agree with you. There are lots of things to be said on the matter, but the most essential one I can think of right now, to my judgment, is that those whom we care the least and treat as mere part of the daily routine, are most likely those who value the most the fact that at some extent we are part of their lives. Sometimes we say and do things without pondering the effects that precede them; however, those who admire us in secret, could be greatly affected. Is it selfish and even shallow from our part to assume that those to whom we even just type a random “hi” or “what’s up” once in a while, just because they are online and we have two spare seconds, won’t or don’t care to hear from us? How much better would it be if we did it genuinely instead of tossing them a portion of the little leftovers of our time? How much worse if we did this while on the other hand we found ourselves in the search of true friends or happiness, being totally oblivious to the fact that they could be there awaiting us just a click away?
(JD–Argyland)
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so i feel sure you will find it funny that i loved this post, jdy. and you may think it even stranger that i comment on it. but the simple fact is this is something htat i feel very strongly about and i hope that you still feel this way. i can only hope that our friendship continues on the deepening path that i think we have managed to hash out over the last 7(?) months. as long as we are both putting in i hope that the other never reaches that plateau. few people in my life have affected it like your friendship has …if there are two things you have given me it is courage and culture. in doing so you have made me a happy man. i can only hope to repay you in anyway that i can. love you.
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