jd yates

Here’s week 8 of Nick’s If… Project. I had a seriously rough time with a couple of these questions. Looking forward to moving on to week 9 now. Using the downtime on my flight back from Key West to knock a couple of these out. Expect a full recap of the trip sometime in the next few days. It will be a giant vat of awesome (aka the most well-documented vacation in history (of me)).

If you could have one person from history live his or her full life over again, starting now, who would you pick?

I really want to give up on this question. I hate it… because I hate old things. But I’m gonna power through (mostly because I think Nick would be cross with me if I didn’t).

It’s hard to come up with a solution that’s contextually relevant. The obvious goal is to bring someone back who could contribute something to current society. Arts and sciences are the obvious choice… but I feel a bit like I’ve beaten the science thing to death. And artists aren’t appreciated until they’re dead, anyway, so what would be the point? To bring Picasso back and watch his work not be fully appreciated until he stops producing it again? Alright, real answer… here goes:

My great-grandmother. Though she’s still with us, I can’t think of anyone, ever, who deserves to spend another lifetime spreading her unique brand of remarkably unconditional love, of the truest and most altruistic variety, and wonderfully insightful life lessons to those that are fortunate enough to know her. She’s pure condensed happiness, and her positive energy is infectious. More people deserve to experience that tremendously uplifting presence in their lives.

There. I said it. It’s morbid, but I said it. Done.

If you could have witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?

I’m gonna take a slightly more liberal interpretation of the question and choose an event that hasn’t happened yet. I’d like to witness the period in history during which humans develop the ability to travel faster than light (assuming the feat itself is physically possible, of course). Beyond simply the unimaginable breakthroughs in physics that would both lead to and stem from this event, the exploration and study of our galaxy would keep me fascinated for many lifetimes.

If one of your parents was to be a famous person from any time in history, who would you want them to be?

Keeping in mind that I’m completely dependent upon the technology in my life, the history bit of the equation doesn’t really factor in. I couldn’t survive outside the present. I’d choose to have my mother be the reigning Queen of England. As if the title wasn’t sweet enough, there’s the whole family fortune part. The only foreseeable downside (and this applies to fame of any sort) is the negative attention from media and the paparazzi. Pretty sure I’d get over it. Also, it’s safe to say I wouldn’t be a total twat and join the Royal Marines. I’m just sayin’.

If you could receive one small package this very moment, who would you want it to be from, and what would be in it?

This question is particularly telling because it quite surreptitiously pries into what one thing I would draw from the universe at this moment, given the choice and the power. Naturally my first instinct is to be vain and selfish; to milk the opportunity for all it’s worth. Hell, let’s be honest, that’s not just my first instinct… That’s my only instinct. I’m pretty (unnecessarily) fixated on the absence of love in my life at the moment, so I would undoubtedly choose to receive a powerful symbol of someone special’s undying affections for me. Perhaps, say, the keys to a Lamborghini, for instance… or those to a vacation home in Bali… Whichever.

I feel the need to start by saying that 4am came extremely early this morning. For those of you that do this on a regular basis, I exempt you from feeling bad/old for going to bed at 8pm. Considering that I was up until 2 o’clock this morning doing laundry and packing, I may as well have not slept at all. Starbucks was requisite as soon as we got through security. Luckily we got terminal D at D/FW and it was dead, so check-in was a breeze. One Triple Venti Vanilla Latte and a blueberry muffin later, I’m feeling pretty good (though I foresee there being a follow-up once we land in Miami). This is good, because I’m an asshole when I’m tired. Ok… a bigger asshole than usual.

As I write this I’m thoroughly enjoying all the comforts of first class aboard a 737-800. To anyone who doesn’t pay attention to seat assignments on their flights (especially those over an hour), let me extoll the virtues of bulkhead seating. Being 6’3″ makes flying coach a dirty bitch, so as soon as our tickets were bought I was on the AA website moving us to the best available position. For me this is always the first row in whichever cabin you’re assigned to, because it puts a wall in front of you rather than another row of seats, thus opening up about a foot of additional leg room. The downside is that you don’t have underseat stowage for your carry-ons, your seat goes to the row behind you, so your stuff has to go overhead. However, for me, the leg stretching factor wins out every time. I got us first row on both flights in and out of D/FW…. ya know, cuz I’m a badass. Incidentally, this also makes us first to get off the plane. Solid.

Someone told me a few weeks ago about a website that will show you a picture of exactly what your seat on your specific flight will look like and it’s dimensions, which is super cool, especially if you don’t know your aircraft. I’ll post that link here later, after I do some research.

We land in Miami in just over half an hour. I hope to find wi-fi (or manage my way into an Admiral’s Club) so that I can post this and try to catch up on the over 100 blog entries I’ve missed over the last three days while I’ve been moving. I realized some time late last night, while admiring my battle scars from the move and waiting on clothes to dry, that the second leg of this flight is on one of those old turboprop planes…. Super, a full hour of inner ear damage. Not to mention that I couldn’t get us any closer than row 14 (this is clearly NOT first class). Oh well, I’m told it’s a gorgeous flight, and it’s only an hour.

I’ve already started taking pictures of everything. This trip will be well-documented, damnit. Also, since I don’t have one of those travel gnome things, I’ve decided that my BlackBerry will be my travel buddy (it goes with me everywhere, anyway, not to mention it’s terribly photogenic), so watch my Flickr for pictures. Which brings me to two quick side notes: Must install Flickr plugin for WordPress, and Good news: I’ll have both high speed internet and fully-functional wireless service throughout the trip. Communications technology, FTW.

The captain is about to tell me to shut off my flotilla of electronic devices, so I’ll have to sign off for now. Next up: Figure out how the F* I’m going to keep my brother entertained for the next 5 days. Developing…

This week I took up a new people-watching/get-things-accomplished spot. Now, before I say where (some folks may have already noticed it pop up on my Twitter/Brightkite feeds), let me preface by saying it’s only partially about the occasional eye-candy. I’ve spent the last couple of afternoons at Buli on Cedar Springs. I’ll admit, I’ve been pretty outspoken regarding my anti-gayberhood policies in the past, and it’s that philosophy that’s kept me away from this little gem until now, but in light of my impending move back to Uptown I felt it was time to shed the naive belief that big coffee is the only coffee in this part of the city and let myself enjoy some free wi-fi and and a slightly more eclectic set of people to watch.

I figured out a while ago that sitting in a booth at the restaurant all afternoon was no way to get anything done. It’s impossible to focus when I’m constantly trying to watch the business and make sure customers are getting taken care of and that the staff is tasked appropriately. It was about that time that my wonderful friend Tiffany showed me White Rock Coffee and subsequently caused me to shed my fear of neighborhood coffee shops. But with my move looming only 3 weeks away I’m preparing to transition back into the Uptown 2.5 mile radius mindset and simultaneously realizing that Starbucks West Village is not going to cut it for productivity space outside of home/work.

So I broke down, and schlepped to the strip…

Yesterday was great! (Aside from unexpectedly running into a prospective date whilst looking rough-as-hell and almost certainly wreaking of sandwiches) I got about an eighth of the way into this great book on Ruby on Rails, which constitutes massive productivity… especially given that the very last basketball game of the season was on for at least part of that time. I spent the entire afternoon out on the patio enjoying the cool post-rain humidity and the hit-and-miss scenery. Today was slightly less so, primarily because I spent part of the time on the patio in the sweltering heat catching up on blogs (with a brief visit from Mr. and Mrs. Landis), and the rest of the time banging my head against “If… Week 8″‘s questions (with which I am still not terribly pleased). At which point I opted for a topic change and have since produced what you’re reading now. A.K.A. considerably more than I would have had I continued down that futile line of conjuring ridiculous answers to almost unanswerable questions.

Not sure if I’ll be back tomorrow, but the chances are damn good. Hopefully the heat will let up just enough to be comfortable and I can continue checking things off my to-do lists and feeling, for the first time in a long time, like things aren’t stacking up faster than I can accomplish them…. HAHA, as if!

Two blogs in a row… I’m on fire!!! This is week 7 of Nick’s If… Project. If you don’t know what’s going on by now, I encourage you to click the “If…” category on the left and get caught up. Go. Now.

If you could be sculpted by any artist in history, who would you choose?

Henry Moore, because he’s my favorite sculptor and I have no desire to be cast in marble by the likes of DaVinci. Also, because the end product would look more like a massive block of bronze and negative space than my likeness, which I assume patrons of the arts would likely thank him for later.

If you were to have your entire wardrobe designed for you by a single clothing designer for the rest of your life, who would you select?

Easily, Marc Jacobs. I don’t so much feel the need to explain this answer, as his work is self-evident (and we have the same body type, so who better to design for me?). Plus, he’s hot, and openly gay. And I’d be set for luggage.

If you were to be stranded forever on a desert island and you could have only one book to read, which would you want?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. This is a tough call, because most of the fiction I read for pleasure is series rather than standalone, so if I could find the entire series contained in a single book and sneak that by, that would be fantastic. If it has to be just the one, then Goblet of Fire because it’s one of the longest, and hands down my favorite because it has the right balance of darkness, action, and character development.

If you could say one sentence to the current pope, what would it be?

“Mia Padre… Shut the F* up about the sins of homosexuality and get on fixing this Middle East nonsense. Thanks.”

At long last, week 6 of Nick’s If… Project. I struggled with this one, which should explain the lag. First, because the first question required serious consideration, making the entry as a whole unusually daunting, and secondly because I debated at length about showing my nerd card. In the end I decided it had been shown long ago and I should really just own it. Here it is:

If you could have permanent possession of any single object in the world, what would you want it to be?

This one has me stuck… It would have to be something with no inherent upkeep costs, that would either provide fabulous utility of some kind or revenue and/or notoriety. GOT IT!

A deed entitling me to ownership of the island of Manhattan. No upkeep costs, because I don’t own any of the buildings, but revenue because the Trumps that do own them would then have to rent the land from me! I’m sure I’d leverage a sweet flat out of the deal, too, which satisfies the utility requirement. And it’s New York property, so notoriety is kind of a given. Done and done.

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?

The non-nerd answer to this question is Casino Royale. First, because I’d die to drive that Aston Martin DBS. And second, because I look damn fine in a tux. We’d have to re-negotiate the ball-busting scene, though. Also, they’d need to cast Daniel Craig as my Bond girl, I’m just sayin’.

*Nerd Alert* Anyone who would like whatever opinion they might have about me to survive the day, read no further.

Partly because I’ve seen it twice in the last two weeks, and partly because I believe it to be the kick ass-est movie in the franchise, I’d choose Star Trek: First Contact. I grew up watching and adoring that cast, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to work with them all. Also, it’s a television icon that will continue to have a massive following for decades, and would place my name among those of some extremely venerable folks that have been involved with the series and movies to date and in future. I wouldn’t even need the starring role, I’d be perfectly happy being Ensign Hawk that gets assimilated halfway through the movie. Just standing on the sets would be enough to give me a mild heart attack.

If you could return for one year to one age in your life, knowing what you know now, to relive the year as you wish, which year would you go back to?

I’d go back to being 16, and not do a lot of the ridiculously stupid and dangerous things I did at that age. Riding along while my friend repeatedly jumped his SUV over some nearby railroad tracks to see how much plausibly deniable damage he could do was probably not the most intelligent decisions of my life. Instead, I’d spend my time enjoying the things I had and being myself, rather than lamenting about the things I didn’t have and denying/hiding from the reality of my sexuality. Being comfortable with myself would undoubtedly have completely turned around my high school experience, and as a result put me in a much more advantageous educational position now (read: graduate school).

If you had to identically repeat any single year of your life to date, without changing a thing, which year would you relive?

My 22nd. I was in Uptown, I had a decent job. Things were okay with my family. I had more friends than I knew what to do with. I’d disavowed my ex and was finally dating again. I was still a kid… who was perfectly arrogant and invincible, for which few feelings can be touted as more enjoyable.

I don’t know why West Village has become the go-to people watching spot, but it is. I’m currently sitting on the sidewalk patio of a great little wine bar called Cork, and as detached as this location is from West Village proper I still can’t help but be impressed by the constant stream of interesting passers-by.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed a recent (and by that I mean over the last year, or so) increase (and by that I mean from none to some) in the number of children present in this part of town. Is it that the same folks that were 25/single/professional when I first moved to Uptown finally gave in to their biological clocks and are now 33/married/2.5 children or are people that already have children finally beginning to consider Uptown a reasonable place to raise them?

It looks like this is the extent of my blogging for this particular sitting, as my friend walks up to join me (and I never did manage to get on the wi-fi). Interruptions were plentiful, despite migrating here from the restaurant in the hopes of accomplishing more. Fail. But I’ll be back later…