jd yates

I had a dream a few nights ago, and though I don’t frequently remember my dreams, this one stands out vividly because I awoke from it very disturbed. There was more too it than this little excerpt, and the details become more fuzzy as the days go by, but the part that I remember best is sitting in a packed church. Pew after pew filled with people, so close and so tight that I felt like I couldn’t breath, much less get out. Normally I wouldn’t see a lot of symbolism in this, except that this wasn’t your run of the mill service. The preacher was literally screaming his sermon, all the while both he and the crowd were engaged in these elaborate and dramatic hand gestures that corresponded to what was being said. The whole crowd was synchronously waving their hands and banging angry fists on the pew in front of them. I remember being scared by the unfamiliarity, the mob mentality of it all, and most of all frightened that soon everyone would notice that I wasn’t on board. So I instinctively fought for the door, jumping over people and pews the whole way. I’m pretty sure I woke up before my actual escape, which is probably why I carried the terror with me.

On the heels of barely imaginable discrimination like Prop 8 in California and Initiated Act 1 in Arkansas, I’ve become fixated on how disappointing it is that the religious right can so adeptly influence our nation’s moral compass. This dream, to me, perfectly symbolizes the sort of religious zealotry that seeks to legislate our ideals for us. Blind, dogmatic, bigotry perpetuated by jackals in Armani suits, flailing about, sensationalizing what was meant to be a message of peace and love, and warping into hateful fear-mongering. Throngs of people going eternally through the motions, more literally than figuratively, more physically than spiritually, laboring under a mass delusion, hoping that their exclusivity will guarantee their absolution.

Though many people have found reason to be happy about the state of the country since Tuesday, I’m overwhelmingly saddened. And though none of the resolutions voted into law that day directly affect me, especially since gay marriage is already forbidden in Texas, I still feel like I woke up Wednesday morning with fewer rights than I had the day before… and certainly with less chance of getting them back in my lifetime. Perhaps the most disappointing part is that big religion doesn’t represent a majority of people, most that I talk to are reasonably socially liberal, but somehow they still manage to swing enough undecideds, usually through fear and deception, to err on the side of restricting the rights of others rather than truly attempt to see outside their narrow world-view and deeply consider an issue that doesn’t necessarily directly affect them or anyone they know.

I can only hope that as my generation takes power, some of the wrongs committed this year can be righted. Until then, I’m gonna go ahead and start marching to the Supreme Court… it’s a long way.